Sunday, March 20, 2011


 Today at church, the little ones were really paying attention when Pastor Layson explained communion. The girlie had expressed a desire to ask Jesus to be her personal Lord and savior once before, but then she became quickly distracted, and I took that to mean that she really wasn't understanding the gravity of the decision. So today, after church, we "walked" the Romans road while their baby sister slept. I read the prayer of salvation to them, and I asked them to think about it during their rest time. If they decide that it is something they want to say for themselves, i told them that Daddy will help lead them in the prayer---but he will not say it for them, they have to want to say it for themselves.
 For everything that the modern world has robbed us of in raising our families (in my opinion), I am so thankful for something like Skype. It means that today, though my husband is 17 hours ahead of us, he may very well be able to lead his older children through the prayer of salvation, and watch their little faces when they truly accept Jesus Christ as their own Lord and savior; no longer just riding along on Mama and Daddy's beliefs.
 I am grateful that God has been using the things in my life to help me to truly understand salvation. I have realized that though I completely believed in him, and my church taught the correct message, many things in my life lead me to believe that in all honesty, my salvation was still dependant on myself; my own goodness and trying to steer clear from evil. Until recently, I think I still believed that, but I was also mature enough to struggle with it. I am realizing though, that God may have allowed that untruth to linger to protect me when I didn't have parents to guide me; it kept me on a good path ( or a much better path, at least) when there was no parental guidance there. Lately, it has been like an epiphany though- the difference between salvation, and goodness for the sake of pleasing God. They ARE NOT the same thing, and I am ever so grateful for that realization coming to my heart, instead of just my mind. God has used my husband, from the day I met him, to teach me this lesson, and I am sad that it took this long to sink in, but I am grateful nevertheless...the realization came at the perfect time, and I was able to outline how different the two things are for my own children.
Someday, I will have to write about exactly how it is that God used my Honey to teach bring me back to Him.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Cleaning is not really the right word, but we've been up to something along those lines. It is more like Spring refreshing; catching up on chores that went to the wayside when the weather was so cold I just couldn't muster the courage to go out in it and do them ; like trimming goat hooves. Some of what we have been doing is just regular maintenance, like mixing up herbal wormer and feeding it to the critters, shoveling manure, and cleaning out the hen house. Some things are just genuine refreshing, like weeding and planting some lily of the valley bulbs.
 Some of the chores are new, like clipping the chickens wings so that we don't have to worry about them taking off when we let them have free-range time in the yard. We realize that clipping them means that they also cannot get away from predators, but being as we live in an area with plenty of predators anyways, I have decided to compromise on cooping and free-ranging by allowing them to be out when we are out, and go back in when we aren't there to keep an eye on them....our house is only 1300 and some odd square feet, so we spend plenty of time out there.
 Anywho, I've done all of those things today, or at least started on them all ( weeding/planting), and even painted the littlest SoulFull's bed a pretty new blue. So I am feeling rather accomplished today. Frankly, i was afraid to sit down, even to get the little one down for her nap, because I was afraid that if I slowed down, I just might come to a stop. We will see.
 It was glorious to be out in the sun though (it's haling now...welcome to the Pacific Northwest), and there is something so strangely satisfying about being out there shoveling manure. I think the fact of it is that today, if not everyday (though it should be), I was really hit by the blessing of this work. This work is all part of my dream, and that's life people; a lot of times, we forget to be thankful for the work that accompanies our dreams. If we want children, we need to be grateful for the mountains of laundry that come with them. If we want a home, we need to be grateful for the never-ending maintenance that it requires. If we want a bigger-than-we-need house, sports car, and $70+ thousand a year salary, we need to accept the long hours and lack of leisure that it all requires. Anyhow, you get the idea.
 Just, two years ago, I was silently (mostly) grieving that we wouldn't be able to raise our children to know what it was like to run around in a big back yard or raise their own food. There was just no way I could see that ever happening, so long as my Honey continued to be called to military service. Yet, our God not only knew the desires of my heart, but knew why, I wanted those things...and he provided, as he always does. He has used this to show me how he can give us the very desires of our hearts, how he honors our good intentions, but also how sometimes, he knows better than us, and we need to just stop pushing. everything that i have let happen on this farm through HIS good timing, has worked out beautifully. everything that I have made happen on my own time has failed miserably. Yet today reminded me to be thankful for all of that. It is part of the learning experience of this life and of having my dreams come true. I couldn't be more grateful; even if I could smell a bit better right now.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Motherhood and a Giveaway !

 One of the things that most touches me about my journey as a mother is the realization that any other endeavor I could ever have wanted to do is included in my parenting. When I was very small, before I let the world tell me that I was wrong, when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said " a mommy !" However, the world doesn't like an answer like that; they think that it means a girl isn't striving for anything bigg