Yesterday was Mr. SoulFull's bonus day off for the holiday. We used it to tackle some more of the Spring chores list, but after my one chore for the day, I was spent. I cleaned out the car. That's it. I am not sure if that is more of a statement about my lack of endurance or the filth of the car...but I am pretty sure it is the latter. I pulled so much trash out of there, it was....just gross. I'll leave it at that. Anyhow, now it is spic and span----ready to go another several months before I get around to it again ( the sad truth)...but at least I won't feel like I am strapping my newborn into a rolling bio hazard.
Maybe it was because of my hard work yesterday, but today has been slow going. We welcomed our new fowl to the farm yesterday, and it has already proven to be quite entertaining. The Boy is certain that the guinea fowl are actually some kind of prehistoric creature, with the horns on their heads and all. they are lavender, and if it weren't for their horrid heads, they would be so beautiful. But The Boy is right, they look either ancient or alien, and I can't decide which. Either way. they are much quieter than I am accustom to ( recalling my little girlhood in the deep South), but that could just be our honeymoon period.
The ducks are charming. I was watching them and thinking "now I see Miss Potter!" Pit pat paddle pat, pit pat waddle pat. It's so true.
The children are charmed by the turkeys, and we have already received one, big, fascinating egg from them.
The new chickens are all of the same kinds of breeds we already had; Buff Orpingtons, Rhode Island Reds, and Ameracaunas. So they are fitting in nicely, and one Red has particularly taken to The Boy- coming up to him to be picked up and stroked like a cat.
But in discovering that, we also discovered escaped goats...and my, how that takes away from getting any schoolwork done.
* I wrapped up this post for the day, with intentions of finishing it up about how some days, nothing gets done. My floors were dirty laundry piling up, ad schoolwork behind.
I'm glad I stopped writing. Maybe I would have doomed the day,with my attitude or self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just after this, we managed to get the goats, at the least, out of trouble for the time being, and since The Boy had finished his school work, he went out to adventure while I tried to finish up with the girls and get lunch going.
He came back in to show me not only the duck eggs our new little friends had gifted us with, but also a small bunch of wildflowers, just for Mama. Plant identification is not my strong suit (understatement...remind me to tell you about the beautiful plant that I just loved that had been cultivated in all of our flower beds when we bought the house.....).
So I thought we could salvage some school time before I headed off to my appointment; we got online and attempted to identify one of the very charming flowers he had discovered.
It turns out it is one of these, and apparently they are rare in our state. In fact...they aren't supposed to be picked. Turns out, we are blessed to have a whole patch of them, growing out of sight in a wooded spot. I told The Boy not to worry, none of us knew,but now we wouldn't pick them. What a sweet little blessing- to find such a precious little discovery !
Mr. SoulFull came home to stay with the children, as opposed to our usual set-up, where I drop them off at the military compound with him and pick them back up before heading home. The NST appointments are thankfully short, and so he is able to take a short break to visit with them...they look forward to hanging out with Daddy at the hanger. Yesterday sounded even more wonderful. As soon as I left, Mr. SoulFull says he thought to himself I could get yard work done, or take them for a walk. He went for the walk, which is no small feat with our Miss Fi...little Miss tiptoe through the Tulips. He even let her take her bike. I made her day ( though she is back to running a fever....). What should be a 20 minute walk took an hour, but Mr. SoulFull did it. They went into our little town, making a stop with one of our favorite, God-loving shop owners...and then a special trip to the town Cookie Company. What a special day with their daddy.
How could a day like that be a bust?
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
Pardon me, while I find my voice
I have been a life-long people pleaser.
I was born that way, as far as I can tell. A product of either my first-born status or my anxious childhood...or maybe those traits just all go together, with no concrete cause and causation.
I started writing, because I was a people pleaser.
My third grade teacher, the first person who ever told me I was good at anything, told me I was good at writing. She sent me to a Young Writer's Conference at the local community college ( the same college where I would later finish my last two years of high school/first two yearrs of college). I wrote for her, because she told me I was good at it. Because she smiled when she told me, and because it felt so good to be "good' at something.
But like everything in life, I tailored what I said and how I said it to what I pereceived the audience wanted to hear.
different audience, different voice.
But I am done. I don't want to be a people pleaser, I just want to be a God pleaser.
The reason I am writing here is more important than who might be reading.
So why am I writing?
To have something for my dear children.
Something so they can remember what life was like, "back then" when they were small...and things were simple to them, but complicated to me.
Something so they can know who I am, what I am thinking, what is important to our family, and how grateful I am for their existence.
Something that might be used for them to see the grace of God through their Mama.
Something that will bring glory to God.
So pardon me, if you are reading this, while I figure out how to combine all of my personas into my writing...if sometimes it feels a bit schizophrenic. I am learning how to just be me- God-loving, God-fearing, irreverent, analytical, whimsical, and yet practical- grateful for who God made me, and even more grateful for the work he promised to complete in me.
I was born that way, as far as I can tell. A product of either my first-born status or my anxious childhood...or maybe those traits just all go together, with no concrete cause and causation.
I started writing, because I was a people pleaser.
My third grade teacher, the first person who ever told me I was good at anything, told me I was good at writing. She sent me to a Young Writer's Conference at the local community college ( the same college where I would later finish my last two years of high school/first two yearrs of college). I wrote for her, because she told me I was good at it. Because she smiled when she told me, and because it felt so good to be "good' at something.
But like everything in life, I tailored what I said and how I said it to what I pereceived the audience wanted to hear.
different audience, different voice.
But I am done. I don't want to be a people pleaser, I just want to be a God pleaser.
The reason I am writing here is more important than who might be reading.
So why am I writing?
To have something for my dear children.
Something so they can remember what life was like, "back then" when they were small...and things were simple to them, but complicated to me.
Something so they can know who I am, what I am thinking, what is important to our family, and how grateful I am for their existence.
Something that might be used for them to see the grace of God through their Mama.
Something that will bring glory to God.
So pardon me, if you are reading this, while I figure out how to combine all of my personas into my writing...if sometimes it feels a bit schizophrenic. I am learning how to just be me- God-loving, God-fearing, irreverent, analytical, whimsical, and yet practical- grateful for who God made me, and even more grateful for the work he promised to complete in me.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Spring Forward
Today, it feels like it is really here. Spring. Finally.
Of course, it may snow, or hail, or pour rain again. Maybe tomorrow or maybe in an hour. It is the beautiful Pacific Northwest. Maybe it is only through the light of our homeschooling curriculum, but every time I hear someone complain about the climate, I just think of the explorers, the pioneers, who fought their way here, so hard, just to have a taste of the richness God put here. Not that they were crazy about the months of soggy cold either.
Today, the little girls have succumbed to whatever nasty bug it is that has been circulating through our little church community. Miss Fi has taken to her bed, but BumbleTot, even with a high fever, refuses to be deterred-especially when her Daddy is doing yard work.
By order of the Army, he has the day off today. I suppose that the secular push of our government only extends so far as it goes before robbing them of any more free time. If Easter equals Christ, we should ignore it...but if it equals a day off...while then by all means, we're all Christians.
We are glad to have him home though, and the nesting seems to have hit him this time around too...or maybe it is just the draw of new man toys with which to play.
The family that is bequeathing us their slew of poultry ( to include a pair of Lavender Guinea Fowl, it turns out) let Mr. SoulFull have use of their chipper shredder today. So he woke up, on his day off, with a need to get to work before the sun even started its day. The combined work of January's ice storm and the fellows' gathering efforts left us with a pile of limbs in the middle of our mini pasture. A pile larger than any of our livestock and big enough to spark a little boy's imagination.
Today, Mr. SoulFull is shredding that pile of adventure into wood chips for the front garden. The goats are currently grazing, unfenced, at the side of the house. Too fat or too loyal to leave.
BumbleTot is standing at the gate that divides our yard from the animals yard. She has on her ear protection, and her work boots. Her Daddy probably doesn't even realize that she is there. She knows where to find her work gear. She thinks it is her duty to ride on the lawn mower with Daddy, or shotgun in the truck...wherever he is while he does work around the property. She wears that pair of adult-sized earphones with dignity.
I am typing here, enjoying the sunshine coming through the window and watching my poor little lamb call after her Daddy. She teases him incessantly, like nothing you have ever seen from a toddler- but he started it. She is the baby he was home for- the whole first year. The one he caught himself in our upstairs bedroom. She pushes his buttons. She acts just like him. Working with him...wanting to be his tiny shadow, is how she shows him that she really doesn't mean any of it.
How will things change with this new baby? This baby that will change her status. She has been unique, even as the third child, because she was the first one that was as much his, to him, as she was mine. The Army kept him so much, so far away from us, so often during those first years. He missed so much of the other children's early lives that he couldn't always connect- jumping in and out, getting snapshots of what it was to have small children in the house.
I think it was that closer bond that initially fully convinced him of "no more children", and yet ultimately God used it to change his heart, allowing this new baby to come into the fold. Being a part of the everyday, he realized the level of commitment, work, and exhaustion that could go with small children. But as that tiny shadow got bigger,God could guide his imagination...for all the work, how much more joy could there be?
Things are coming to life out here...in the dirt, in the coop...new life and change; it's our current theme 'round these parts. We are entering uncharted territory, in more ways than one.
So I just think of those explorers; coming to a place where they just knew there would be great treasure, but in no way prepared for the cold torrents that could come along with it. They believed in Manifest Destiny, that it was God's plan that the U.S reach from sea to shining sea...and through their experiences it did, it does.
I believe in Manifest Destiny too. I know that our upcoming changes will be both overwhelming and overjoying. I know that they are part of God's perfect plan for us.
Of course, it may snow, or hail, or pour rain again. Maybe tomorrow or maybe in an hour. It is the beautiful Pacific Northwest. Maybe it is only through the light of our homeschooling curriculum, but every time I hear someone complain about the climate, I just think of the explorers, the pioneers, who fought their way here, so hard, just to have a taste of the richness God put here. Not that they were crazy about the months of soggy cold either.
Today, the little girls have succumbed to whatever nasty bug it is that has been circulating through our little church community. Miss Fi has taken to her bed, but BumbleTot, even with a high fever, refuses to be deterred-especially when her Daddy is doing yard work.
By order of the Army, he has the day off today. I suppose that the secular push of our government only extends so far as it goes before robbing them of any more free time. If Easter equals Christ, we should ignore it...but if it equals a day off...while then by all means, we're all Christians.
We are glad to have him home though, and the nesting seems to have hit him this time around too...or maybe it is just the draw of new man toys with which to play.
The family that is bequeathing us their slew of poultry ( to include a pair of Lavender Guinea Fowl, it turns out) let Mr. SoulFull have use of their chipper shredder today. So he woke up, on his day off, with a need to get to work before the sun even started its day. The combined work of January's ice storm and the fellows' gathering efforts left us with a pile of limbs in the middle of our mini pasture. A pile larger than any of our livestock and big enough to spark a little boy's imagination.
Today, Mr. SoulFull is shredding that pile of adventure into wood chips for the front garden. The goats are currently grazing, unfenced, at the side of the house. Too fat or too loyal to leave.
BumbleTot is standing at the gate that divides our yard from the animals yard. She has on her ear protection, and her work boots. Her Daddy probably doesn't even realize that she is there. She knows where to find her work gear. She thinks it is her duty to ride on the lawn mower with Daddy, or shotgun in the truck...wherever he is while he does work around the property. She wears that pair of adult-sized earphones with dignity.
I am typing here, enjoying the sunshine coming through the window and watching my poor little lamb call after her Daddy. She teases him incessantly, like nothing you have ever seen from a toddler- but he started it. She is the baby he was home for- the whole first year. The one he caught himself in our upstairs bedroom. She pushes his buttons. She acts just like him. Working with him...wanting to be his tiny shadow, is how she shows him that she really doesn't mean any of it.
How will things change with this new baby? This baby that will change her status. She has been unique, even as the third child, because she was the first one that was as much his, to him, as she was mine. The Army kept him so much, so far away from us, so often during those first years. He missed so much of the other children's early lives that he couldn't always connect- jumping in and out, getting snapshots of what it was to have small children in the house.
I think it was that closer bond that initially fully convinced him of "no more children", and yet ultimately God used it to change his heart, allowing this new baby to come into the fold. Being a part of the everyday, he realized the level of commitment, work, and exhaustion that could go with small children. But as that tiny shadow got bigger,God could guide his imagination...for all the work, how much more joy could there be?
Things are coming to life out here...in the dirt, in the coop...new life and change; it's our current theme 'round these parts. We are entering uncharted territory, in more ways than one.
So I just think of those explorers; coming to a place where they just knew there would be great treasure, but in no way prepared for the cold torrents that could come along with it. They believed in Manifest Destiny, that it was God's plan that the U.S reach from sea to shining sea...and through their experiences it did, it does.
I believe in Manifest Destiny too. I know that our upcoming changes will be both overwhelming and overjoying. I know that they are part of God's perfect plan for us.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
On Little Girls and Dresses
This dear woman shared something today that is dear to my heart. We currently attend a church that requires girls and ladies to wear dresses whenever they are doing business, teaching, etc. on behalf of the church. I have chosen to wear dresses in my personal life anyway, but for reasons not entirely like that of my pastor and his family. For me, it was largely because I began to realize that I felt more comfortable in dresses and was only wearing jeans because I felt like that was what was expected by the world. I also love to feel lady-like. growing up in a family with no Godly, womanly guidance, I had unknowingly began to form into a female misogynist. Coming nearer to God, having a loving husband, and learning the joys of family changed how I saw women, and how I saw myself. I love to embrace the fact that God made me a woman, and it wasn't an accident...and it is not just different anatomy. God created something special when he created woman, and by embracing all things lady-like, I feel like I am praising him and thanking him for his deliberate, precious creation. And yes...modesty does lay into it, but as you see, it is rather secondary for me.
I have seen skirts worn to church that are much less modest than the jeans another woman wears.
My husband confronted our Pastor on whether he is saying that the Bible says we have to wear dresses or not. We know the passages that are interpreted to mean this, but we don't believe that they are specifically saying "skirts and dresses only." The Pastor agreed. To him it is just a measure of modesty, and he feels that the best way to insure modesty among the congregations, especially when they are representing the church, is to require dresses. Because of my personal convictions, it has not been a big issue for me, but I appreciate where it has caused problems for others. We did differ, however, in how we felt that little girls should be dressed. My husband and I hadn't felt it necessary for our toddler daughter to always wear only dresses or nightgowns ( lieu of footed or legged pajamas).
We have taken a path much like that of The Modest Mom and her family. We don't believe that the Bible says we HAVE to wear dresses, but that we do have to dress modestly, and I want to dress in a way that revels in the fact that God made me a woman :) Yet, as she said, on a tiny girl, the figure isn't an issue. I have heard the excuse to start them on dresses young so that they know how to wear them, but I don't necessarily think it works out that way. That said, I did dress Miss Fi in lots of dresses----I was just so excited to have a girl....she had plenty of dress wearing practice ;)
However, she is tall and long-limbed ( much unlike her mother) and it was when she was 4.5 that we went to have photos done at the mall. I took her with her hair all done in a little button up top and a pair of pants, so that we could change into our pretty dress clothes there. It was when I realized that her figure from behind looked like the models on the boards in the malls...that I decided it was time to wear dresses. That should reveal the sickness of our society- two fold.Not only do we sexualize children, but the ideal female figure (from mall advertising perspective, at least) is that of a long-limbed child...just add breasts.
As a result of that experience, discussion, and prayer, she now wears dresses, often with leggings underneath. They look more little girlish, and it is what she wants to wear anyway. BumbleTot wears dresses (again with leggings or stretchy pants underneath)because she wants to do what big sister does, not because we feel that she must. She still wears her footie pajamas to bed too. If I ever have a little girl that does not like wearing dresses.....well, we will see how we handle that. The goal for us is preserving their girlhood and modesty...not dress-wearing in and of itself.
*I wanted to edit this to say that I credit Amy's writing at Raising Arrows for helping me to articulate my own dress-wearing convictions. She also happens to have a great piece on biblical beauty today !
I have seen skirts worn to church that are much less modest than the jeans another woman wears.
My husband confronted our Pastor on whether he is saying that the Bible says we have to wear dresses or not. We know the passages that are interpreted to mean this, but we don't believe that they are specifically saying "skirts and dresses only." The Pastor agreed. To him it is just a measure of modesty, and he feels that the best way to insure modesty among the congregations, especially when they are representing the church, is to require dresses. Because of my personal convictions, it has not been a big issue for me, but I appreciate where it has caused problems for others. We did differ, however, in how we felt that little girls should be dressed. My husband and I hadn't felt it necessary for our toddler daughter to always wear only dresses or nightgowns ( lieu of footed or legged pajamas).
We have taken a path much like that of The Modest Mom and her family. We don't believe that the Bible says we HAVE to wear dresses, but that we do have to dress modestly, and I want to dress in a way that revels in the fact that God made me a woman :) Yet, as she said, on a tiny girl, the figure isn't an issue. I have heard the excuse to start them on dresses young so that they know how to wear them, but I don't necessarily think it works out that way. That said, I did dress Miss Fi in lots of dresses----I was just so excited to have a girl....she had plenty of dress wearing practice ;)
However, she is tall and long-limbed ( much unlike her mother) and it was when she was 4.5 that we went to have photos done at the mall. I took her with her hair all done in a little button up top and a pair of pants, so that we could change into our pretty dress clothes there. It was when I realized that her figure from behind looked like the models on the boards in the malls...that I decided it was time to wear dresses. That should reveal the sickness of our society- two fold.Not only do we sexualize children, but the ideal female figure (from mall advertising perspective, at least) is that of a long-limbed child...just add breasts.
As a result of that experience, discussion, and prayer, she now wears dresses, often with leggings underneath. They look more little girlish, and it is what she wants to wear anyway. BumbleTot wears dresses (again with leggings or stretchy pants underneath)because she wants to do what big sister does, not because we feel that she must. She still wears her footie pajamas to bed too. If I ever have a little girl that does not like wearing dresses.....well, we will see how we handle that. The goal for us is preserving their girlhood and modesty...not dress-wearing in and of itself.
*I wanted to edit this to say that I credit Amy's writing at Raising Arrows for helping me to articulate my own dress-wearing convictions. She also happens to have a great piece on biblical beauty today !
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
On Raising Little Men
 |
| The Boy showing off his monkey-like skills |
----- how is that for a mouthful in a sentence?
I grew up with sisters, and from the moment they placed him, arms and legs flailing, into my arms, I knew my mind was about to be blown. That is not to say that with his subsequent sisters I haven't had moments in which I realized that " oh no...that is not just a boy thing at all." It's just I knew that raising a boy was going to challenge me, pull me out of my shell, and force me to see things in ways I had never thought of before.
He has...done all of that and more. One of the things that we are dealing with lately, with renewed vigor, is his need for activity. He was a crazy active toddler, to the point that the pediatrician decided we should see the specialists, and they decided that he had some kind of sensory disorders. In the time since then, I have realized these things aren't disorders...but the need for action, adventure....in other words....what little boy ( or child) doesn't have these "disorders" to some extent?
Over the years, his tendency toward calmness has grown and grown, to the point that I began to forget about the wild, climbing toddler, in all but that abstract way in which we reflect on who are children were and who they are now. Yet lately, it has resumed, or maybe I am just getting to spend the whole day with him again, and I am just seeing what he was getting out at recess.
Our school day incorporates play breaks and P.E. Yet, this has not been enough, and on non-school days, his need to try to wrestle his sisters, climb, shout, and jump off things has become nearly overwhelming....and one day, just home from a prenatal appointment, I was nearly at my wit's end- "stop grappling your sisters?!?!"
Then it hit me...something useful I might just have picked up at public school.
Our very wise Principal had a special way of dealing with high energy kids. Instead of taking away recess time, as is customary punishment for multiple offenses, she would send them out...to run laps and get some of "it" out.
So there, at my wit's end, I sent the boy into the rain (with a raincoat) with the instruction just to run, run in circle around the yard...run until you don't feel like you need to body slam one of your ( all to willing) sisters.
The glee in his face ?!? Being told TO GO OUT IN THE RAIN!?!?! Had Mama lost her mind? or had all of his dreams finally come true?
Not only did he go out and run, but he decided, without my suggestion, to do push-ups, jumping jacks, and of course, some aerials off of the playground toys.
When he came in, he was wet, but he was gratified. He needed this; I needed this. And more, I felt like I understood my boy more than ever. Maybe not the mysteries behind those wild green eyes, but at least a kind of cohesion between the two of us; one I haven't felt since he was an infant - one where I just instinctively knew what he needed.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Why isn't this guy in first place ?
This story shows the deliberate way that Ron Paul's campaign is establishing its (and his) honesty in the political arena. Yet somehow, the article comes off to me, like it is making fun of him or accusing him of playing some kind of game. Games are played in politics- every charming remark, every everyday-kind-of-guy gesture, is calcualated to make us feel a certain way. So even if this is a game of some sort, one to make us feel like " WOW, this guy is honest", the outcome is still the same; he really is reporting even the smallest of expenditures---A big difference from a government in which HUGE bills are pushed for passage without anyone even knowing what is in them...
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Cute AND Handy ...or....How I will justify this purchase to Mr. SoulFull
ooohhh!
These look lovely, and though it has been a while since I have had to figure out how to cram a little boy's cloth diaper booty into some britches, I don't forget the frustration.Should the Wee Captain turn out to be a little fellow, I will be coming back to these :)
These look lovely, and though it has been a while since I have had to figure out how to cram a little boy's cloth diaper booty into some britches, I don't forget the frustration.Should the Wee Captain turn out to be a little fellow, I will be coming back to these :)
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